If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He did a backflip because drugs
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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