You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
