We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
