just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
