You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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