he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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