God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
