I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
