I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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