ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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