Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i wish my penis had a tongue
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
