Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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