just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
