I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
zippers are such a cool invention
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize