I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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