We're like a lot better than the average bears
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
