U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize