guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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