So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize