Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
