..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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