i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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