dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
