My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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