Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
