i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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