My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
no you cant smoke seaweed
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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