are you still at the devil's house?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
