I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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