Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
