what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
