they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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