Midget sex pt 2 tonight
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
