Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
