Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
