The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
