I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize