never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
