i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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