At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
