Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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