I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
