u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
