3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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