dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
In America we eat man semen.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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