Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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