My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
