FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think my moral compass just broke
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
