D3 body, D1 cock
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
if only i could text you this smell
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
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