You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
