hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
