you win again, gameday.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
