how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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