are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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