just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize
