so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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