How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
