Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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