Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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