maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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