it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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