I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
